This morning I decided to learn about the science of anger. Having been a bit angry myself over the last few days, I was curious as to what causes it physiologically.
Self assessment is something I do regularly. I was fortunate to be born with a heightened sense of self awareness. When I am not feeling or acting like myself I like to break it down and figure out what is causing it.
I have been blessed with amazing friends who often help me sort my thoughts and feelings out when I go through these moments. They don’t judge because they know that who I am in that moment isn’t who I am as a person. They’re honest. They tell me when I’m wrong. I appreciate that.
Nobody ever experienced personal growth by being told what they wanted to hear.
As a general rule, I don’t judge people at their worst. Having let my anger get the best of me many times over the years I know that more often than not you are seeing the adrenaline rush of anger rather than someone’s true character.
When I lose my temper, I am someone I don’t like. I’ve learned over the years to curb it to a point where I can list on one hand the number of people who have been hit with it in the last decade.
I can be horrible. Vindictive. Cold. My tongue becomes a sword that can cut through the strongest of armour.
It takes a pretty big personal offense to be on the receiving end of that weapon.
Who I am in those moments doesn’t equal who I am as a person. If you judged me based on those increasingly rare instances of rage you would think I was a terrible person, but I’m not.
I’ve had people state my character out loud based on one incident choosing to ignore all of the good in me, so I choose not to inflict that kind of judgement on others. I find it to be an ignorant mindset that many choose to have.
The chemical reaction involved with anger makes you feel bullet proof. Invincible even. You can become a train of destruction that can plow through anything. It curbs your inhibitions so you say things you mean, but you fail in your delivery.
Your “give a damn” is busted.
That doesn’t equal being a bad person. It equals being a human being, in a human body and having natural physiological reactions to a stimulant. Some people react intensely, some barely at all.
I judge people on their best moments and overall character. One of my favorite quotes is “How we walk with the broken speaks louder than how we sit with the great”. I try to live by that.
So, despite my worst moments, I do what I can for humanity and spread light whenever I can. My light drowns out my darkness by a long shot.
I assume the same about most people until they prove otherwise. The people who know me know that I have an ability to see the best in people moreso than most and it has led me to friendships that I will cherish forever. I have a high tolerance for the broken and the lost.
Don’t judge based on how people are when they are angry. They may not be angry at all, even. Fear and anger have very similar physical traits.
It’s not who they are. We could all use a little more understanding when it comes to those around us.
Focus on the good in people. Try to empathize with others. Forgive. Admit when you are wrong.
Spread that light because at the end of the day, scientifically, we are all made of the same material and end up in the same place.